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amalle's illness
her throat began to hurt late thursday night, after we came home from kayla's. (walked a block or two in the exhilarating, freezing cold, and that wore me out & i started stumbling all over the place with my crutches and leaning against the poles of scaffolding, so we gave up and took a cab.) i went and got her lozenges from the other room like the good invalid i am.
but the next morning it was worse, and we got a ride to her house with her mother, which is unheard of, but it was her birthday and she was sick. i attempted to take good care of her all day, smoothing her hair, offering her the roland barthes autobiography i got for xmas so she could look at the pictures, lying in bed quietly with her and cursing the fact that i couldn't kiss her. (last time i got a virus it turned into pneumonia--i'm very weak these days and we didn't want to take any chances.)
it was even worse saturday, but this morning she woke up feeling better, even though we couldn't get her antibiotics cos of the snowstorm--the pharmacy was closed and her mother and brother would've had to walk there anyway. she came to wake me up and lie in bed with me, even made me breakfast. now she's showering for the first time since she got sick. she might skip whatever new year's plan i go in for, but she's on the mend.

top ten list 12.21.00
1. i'm going to see my girl saturday.
2. nina simone>>mississippi goddamn song
3. facts of life tv show
4. cat power>>we dance (pavement cover) song
5. pseudochainsaw messageboard
6. unsweetened applesauce
7. my tan corduroys that i bought secondhand as pants when i was 12 and cut the legs (to the knee) and waist off of a year ago.
8. the two most recent entries in tara's pitas, monday, december 18, 2000, 10:26amand tuesday, december 19, 2000, 10:05am
9. powdery snow at night in this city. i'm frustrated by not being able to run outside when it starts falling, but i can see it out of the big window in my mother's room (where i've been sleeping since my latest operation), the one that faces broadway and the triboro bridge and countless dirty roofs.
10. my new guestbook

boycott domino's sugar!
well, this isn't really a review, but it's important. there's a strike at a domino sugar factory in brooklyn which some of you probably know about. it's been going on for a really long time & they're pretty hard-pressed, cos the AFL-CIO (which they're a branch of) has inexplicably denied them strike funds. they've used up all their funds and now DAN (direct action network) has stepped in to raise funds & try to help them out. so they're organizing a boycott of domino sugar for the holiday season in order to put more pressure on the management. tell whoever does the sugar-buyin' in your household to buy another brand, unless you're all supervegan and don't eat processed sugar cos it's processed w. animal bones. and tell all your friends.

salt + vinegar chips
utz are the best. tiny, 25c bags. eat on a roof with pixie sticks and red laces, or on the subway coming home from soccer practice, when you're craving salt cos of all the sweating you've done and the sun coming in through the windows of the 1/9--aboveground until 181st street--gives you goosebumps and makes your scalp tingle.

two cast signings (both in red)
#1--elinore kaufman, 11/11/00. i didn't even realize elinore had signed my cast until she told me, cos i can't see the place where she signed it (it's on the bottom of my feet, right near my toes). but it says, i've been told, "how does it feel to have sex with a broken leg?" a very smart question.

#2--kayla soyer-stein, 11/24/00. it says "c'est un vol!" which means "it's highway robbery!" then it has a big heart, and says "AMERICA'S SWEETHEART". (actually, now it just says
because kayla made the mistake of writing over the tape that keeps my cast's window on, which comes off every day when my window does.) but this only makes the signing more interesting.

excerpt from ISSUE #1
"It's coming to my attention that my writing is hopelessly unclear, and in addition, that I look like a video game character. So what? I've been reading all this structuralism and it turns out that it's morally indefensible to write clearly. Clarity is the virtue that, like ideology (see Marx), conceals its origins and makes its conclusions seem natural. "Clear" writing refuses to see itself as simply more discourse, more words that construct rather than reflect "objective reality." Come on.
Let language seduce openly, let it show its motives, let its roughness and contingency display their dangers."

to get a copy of issue #1, send $1/trade to Marissa Pareles / PO Box 13674 /Stanford CA 94309/

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